CORRIANDER
OR
HOUND OF HEAVEN PtI
,This was due to be written since long,the subject corroding my heart all the time. Then, when Jamo brought back my PUC poetry book, the Hound, glaring at me censuring for my lapses, it was time. But the inter-net was truant.It took a visit from a longtime "friend", who boasts, "he does not believe in God " for my memories to gush out;-
"...I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways of my own mind......
Adown titanic glooms of chasme d hears,
From those strong feet that followed, followed after
But with unhurrying chase and unperturbe d pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat, and a Voice beat,
More instant than the feet :
All things betray thee who betrayest me. "
As a student, I used to cry if I got less than expected marks in some test for having betrayed Him by not sticking to my vow of avoiding my wayward ways- recalling this" Voice" of Francis Thompson--it is a different matter that all his beautiful poetry was under the influence of opium!
The friend who came yesterday is a widower , has seen a 1000 moon.We worked together in Kashmir House in the early Eighties.His eldest child- a daughter- is an epileptic and schizophrenic. A clue to his anti -God vows! Result; He came in such dishevelment, allegedly seeking some succour away from the middle son with whom he is staying, along with his daughter. Youngest son is allegedly earning crores in the U. S. Eldest, an ex Army Maj is staying opp to us in AWHO, but my friend will have nothing to do with him; the son had allegedly dispossessed him of another property by fraudulent means. They are not even in talking terms( my sons are also not in"talking terms" with me; but, that is at a different level- we talk when absolutely necessary on either grossly mundane OR highly cosmic matters). Despite pleas from Brin and me, he wanted to return home, inspite of the late hour and I had to do the 70 km to& fro trip to put him in a Metro to Delhi.Neither his bitterness about God and Life nor my abiding Faith in His Mercy and the belief in the Glory of Life have been affected after the meeting
In 1950, when Raj had to. join College there were no ready resources and he could join and graduate only with the help of some benefactor and some from our paternal uncle.(Even as i am returning that" Karma" to Chinnu now- not for studies but for living in wilderness).In 1954 after graduation, Raj equipped himself with "kabaddi" of all his books and notes("kabaddi" has been both the family heirloom and sustenance) and took me to our newly married elder Bro's home in Hyderabad for the holidays(my first&last)(Andhra Pradesh having been recently formed, I , in my ignorance expected the train to be stopped and checked by gun trotting troops a-la, II WW scenes across Hitler's Europe and was disappointed when it was NOT, even when the passengers were excitedly shouting"this is the border")
OR
HOUND OF HEAVEN PtI
,This was due to be written since long,the subject corroding my heart all the time. Then, when Jamo brought back my PUC poetry book, the Hound, glaring at me censuring for my lapses, it was time. But the inter-net was truant.It took a visit from a longtime "friend", who boasts, "he does not believe in God " for my memories to gush out;-
"...I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways of my own mind......
Adown titanic glooms of chasme d hears,
From those strong feet that followed, followed after
But with unhurrying chase and unperturbe d pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat, and a Voice beat,
More instant than the feet :
All things betray thee who betrayest me. "
As a student, I used to cry if I got less than expected marks in some test for having betrayed Him by not sticking to my vow of avoiding my wayward ways- recalling this" Voice" of Francis Thompson--it is a different matter that all his beautiful poetry was under the influence of opium!
The friend who came yesterday is a widower , has seen a 1000 moon.We worked together in Kashmir House in the early Eighties.His eldest child- a daughter- is an epileptic and schizophrenic. A clue to his anti -God vows! Result; He came in such dishevelment, allegedly seeking some succour away from the middle son with whom he is staying, along with his daughter. Youngest son is allegedly earning crores in the U. S. Eldest, an ex Army Maj is staying opp to us in AWHO, but my friend will have nothing to do with him; the son had allegedly dispossessed him of another property by fraudulent means. They are not even in talking terms( my sons are also not in"talking terms" with me; but, that is at a different level- we talk when absolutely necessary on either grossly mundane OR highly cosmic matters). Despite pleas from Brin and me, he wanted to return home, inspite of the late hour and I had to do the 70 km to& fro trip to put him in a Metro to Delhi.Neither his bitterness about God and Life nor my abiding Faith in His Mercy and the belief in the Glory of Life have been affected after the meeting
In 1950, when Raj had to. join College there were no ready resources and he could join and graduate only with the help of some benefactor and some from our paternal uncle.(Even as i am returning that" Karma" to Chinnu now- not for studies but for living in wilderness).In 1954 after graduation, Raj equipped himself with "kabaddi" of all his books and notes("kabaddi" has been both the family heirloom and sustenance) and took me to our newly married elder Bro's home in Hyderabad for the holidays(my first&last)(Andhra Pradesh having been recently formed, I , in my ignorance expected the train to be stopped and checked by gun trotting troops a-la, II WW scenes across Hitler's Europe and was disappointed when it was NOT, even when the passengers were excitedly shouting"this is the border")
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