I SALUTE WOMEN-II
I was in9 th class, i think i.e 1956 or I was in college i.e 1960. Whatever. I was bringing about 20 kg of rice hung in 2 bags on either side of my bi-cycle handle bar and was coming thro' the Agraharam, about 500 mtrs from the home. All of a sudden, one bag's handle gave way and it fell down and due to the imbalance, the other followed suit. All rice on the road !. I hurried home to info mother and ask her to come with, new bags, "muram" and broom. She, kamala and jaya all refused as it will be embarrassing for them to sweep on the road in front of other's houses! It was Latchi, then who gathered the tools and set out saying, that that there is no indignity in claiming our own rice. Mother followed and we three completed the task.This was a lesson i learnt from Latchi, which i never forgot to follow. Later, A statue was put up in the Marina beach on the Dignity of Labour, which also removed all notions of indignity in my thought process on legitimate jobs in hand. .
On the last day of my duty in CME, Pune, as Col Adm, I along with Gen Dubey, the Comdt, was watching the trial of a sewage pump the MES put to demonstration in the OR family Qtrs area, "Pandit" as the Gen is affectionately known, is also a "on hands" man. Later on many occasions when Bhagi ,Hari were running away i had to clean the "stuck" WC, with bare hands and also cleaned the dirty OHT once by completely dismantling it!On another occasion, while cleaning the gutter in the bathroom with hands, i retrieved my Topaz ring which was lost over two years back, then! This also helped in my sponging my mother when she was in coma before her death and very recently, to clean up all the mess when Viji returned from the hosp in very weak condition. I also "cosmetised", scrubbed and gave a bath to her . That was our Diwali, this year!(Mrs Margaret Alva, then M P, now, Governor, was witnessing my service to my mother, as she had brought her mother also to the Nursing Home in RML. She , was truly touched.)
When i was a much smaller boy,Latchi's problem of throwing up all regular meals( due to black magic on her, by her m i l , it was alleged. Refer to my FB post I S W- I ), was the source of my joy. She was dependent on " Norukku Theeni". She used to give me four annas (25 paise), and ask for some eatables from the shops and allow me to keep the balance change of a few paise. i used that to build up my fund for buying tools for my "kurangu velai" from Moor Market(.In 1956, i remember one egg cost 10 paise; now it is Rs5.. In 1950-54, when she was there, thing were even more cheaper) I had already said that it was she who helped me to join the Army. I can say here, that she along with my mother(who was expert in improvising and doing repairs at home), was instrumental to my engineering inclination.
She is very good with the sewing machine and has done so much work in that sphere for whole family and for many friends and some times to the servants as well. Even now i await her coming and keep work for her.As to cooking,while she is expert in cooking fast, good in taste, she is not the one for dressings and embellishments, as in the past there was no money to spend on them. She is still the supplier for all kinds of Powders and" Pulikachhal "etc to be eaten with rice, and "karuvadams", to all her children and grand children. Though she came in the early fifties to Delhi, she could not have a" Rajai" till i spared mine when i left Delhi in 1985 !, Till then , it was for others first and then renewals for them; like that it went..
Like our mother had some extra attachment to Kamala, she has with Bhavani; but she claims that while she has been equitable to all her four children ,(by pointing out that she gave equal shares after selling the house) our mother was not. While i can attest to the fact that our mother did not like Latchi for various reasons of her's, i am deeply perturbed by her wholesome hatred towards her mother; what is more with the passage of time it is increasing!. In 2012 to say that mother did not allow her to study further in the 1940s and that is why as a curse, Vijaya could not study well. In 2013, to say that conception and birth of Viji spoiled all her plans and is the cause for her present (imagined) grievances. It is nearly 17 years since our mother died..
Another, unending "deprivation" is 4 daughters and no son. Example of a "Son " like Nana or E Bro does not help. Brin,the eldest has left nothing not done as what a son would have done. Others are equally caring. Yes, She is NOT the boss; the supreme boss,.is the problem .Who is? She was, but no one after her can claim to be the supreme boss!. Though, i am not on character building for elders, i am affected by assertions that she has done no errors(except that she sold the property) in seven decades that i know her Or more importantly her not' acknowledging the corn' Some how ihave a short fuse on that.They are always and already forgiven, as i as a sinner do not have a right to'try and punish' others for their sins. But it is difficult to forget, because such things happen every day, when somebody is not capable of making only coloured statements.and is always talking of what she did not get, while others got in the past ;. there appears to be no sense of having received more than what we deserved- as most of us admit. Some, contentment ever?
Well, her feeling towards Bhavani is that of Meera towards Gopala and her hope is to merge with her for eternity. She has worked a lot for all of us and i hope she has and creates more peace in the future..
