GRATITUDE

It was late 1958.I was in A M Jain College.Swami Chinmayananda addressed us, the eager students on Indian Culture.What is Indian Culture? he asked us. There was a variety of answers to include dances like Bharata Natyam, Kuchchipudi, Kathak, Kathakali, Mohini Attam, Naga Dance, Bamboo Dance, Manipuri, Bhangra: Music- Karnatik, Hindustani, Heer,Villuppattu, Quwali; Art like Tanjore, Mainpuri,Rajasthani, Ravi Verma's; Musical Instruments of  myriad types; Festivals like Dusserah, deepawali, Pongal, New- Year festivals of different regions, religions, He cancelled all of them and also said that Indian Culture is NOT what is depicted  in the Republic Day Tableau but is SATYA, AHIMSA and BRAHMACHARYA.

          Brahmacharya, according to him is not celibacy but consists of two parts:1. NOT being covetous and 2. NOT seeking gratitude. I am a practicing Brahmachari ever since that lecture(except for pens!). While i myself am never ungrateful but do not accept gratitude in any form(often it takes the form of quid-pro- quo in the so many scams we hear/read about and is a sister of the" oldest profession".) This was fortified further by my reading of Thomas Hardy"s "Under The Greenwood Tree" . In that story, the village belle falls for the flamboyant younger brother, a sailor and when  it appears that he has ditched her and picked up other girls at every port of call,his father pressurizes the elder brother, a Drummer in the Royal Fusiliers to court the girl. In due course, after so many presents etc., when the simple soldier is about to give her the betrothal ring, the sailor returns and the girl promptly crosses over to him saying to the soldier " Sorry Tom, I mistook gratitude for Love".

    

        The soldier returns to the unit , goes to the Spanish War and a canon shot blasts his chest, he lying open-eyed, recalls"Sorry Tom....."I was in NCC those days and many a nights i used to be  that Tom and have cried on my cheated state and death, in my dreams. Those dreams ensured not wasting my money on any belles!(that book of Hardy was Raj's Non- Detail in BSc and perhaps has an ability to induce dreams; he and his family "believe" i am envious/jealous of him/them.)

        Now in 2013, on Aug31, at short notice, i was forced to take in the old people in E34 and had to turn the set-up 270* apart. I bought for the old man, a commode-mobile, ultra- modern,super-deluxe, revolving luxury model aptly brand- named  KARMA to enable, energize and enrich his delicious defecation experience. I needed no gratitude for the sh**.  However, his boss for six decades asked him to sign a cheque for Rs 4000 in brindha's name. And lo and behold Banja landed up with intriguing fever next-day and the very next day Chinnu, our stray, got bitten by a few dogs and had to be given 28 stitches! He is no push-over and  though neutered like me, has nerve and verve and balls and for a single, simple insulting remark  viz. being tagged as Snowy's Chamcha, he had earlier killed Bhure, the white dog in a single bite!. Sonu is a witness to this execution.(His point was that unlike these Netas, Snowy did not have any chamchas but only Companions, like King Arthur) But now he had to suffer, i had to take him for treatment for nine days and spend over Rs6000. There after w/o any visible mark or blood  Banja Sahib felt he has been bitten by Chinnu  and proceeded to take treatment at Appolo Hosp, to which he is addicted. And further this lurking fear of  dormant virus, has given him  giddiness etc which has been give a name Cervical Spondylitis(who does not have it after 40 yrs of age radiologicaly). He is thoroughly depressed and goes in taxis instead of  autos, fearing he may swoon down. He also avoids our home like a plague(after verifying plague in Wikipedia). Can't a rabid dog take a fancy to him while waiting for a taxi? And even after my telling him that mine was a case of being found unconscious on the chair in the office, my men evacuating me to hosp which diagnosed C.S. After that i cycled from Jabalpur to Delhi and driven over 2 lakh kilometers on scooter, he is not encouraged, "Jaggiradhai" being the hooter he had listened to all his life.He has since spent over quarter of a lakh. 

            The problem is the old man in his nineties is saving his ever increasing pension for his last days- for dhaan-dharm and not for any unwilling gratitude. And, it is elementary, my dear Watson , that  I , like Tom, am allergic to gratitude- the word itself.. I have not dealt with the further problem of Viji's first ever hospitalization, which  is not yet over.  This, blog may contain some contradictions, many satires, ironies, false- notions but the MORAL of the story is - as Sonu says ,always-TRUE.

Moral is never ever solicit gratitude; never accept gratitude; never, never  allow hesitant/half-hearted gratitude to touch you.